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Role play . In role play , the helper might play the role of the perpetrator in a jail or in a police station , where the child visits him . The child says to the perpetrator what it feels . For example , the child might say : “ You should not have done what you did . Promise you will never do it again .” Or : “ What you did wasn ’ t nice . Do you understand ? You should be sorry for what you did to me .”
Symbolisation . The helper plays a game in which the child becomes things or creatures that represent its feelings or events that have happened .
For example , the helper can say to the child : “ Imagine you are a bird that can fly away . Imagine that you are a tiger that can scratch and roar . Imagine you are a cat that can purr and snuggle up . Which animal do you like to be ?”
The child can try all three roles , and so rehearse flight and fight and affection .
Let the child understand that mixed feelings are very common . For instance , sometimes we are angry with the people we love most . Discuss this .
4.7.7 Regain self-agency
At the core of trauma is an intense feeling of helplessness . Abused children may feel they are objects , not subjects in the world and that they wait passively for things to happen to them . Help the child regain feelings of influence and self-agency . In daily life , it is important to distinguish spaces in which the child can take charge , spaces in which it can make plans and have influence , and spaces over which it has no control .
Start by marking a vertical line on a sheet of paper .
Discuss with the child something it might want to happen and decide whether it inside or outside its control . Make a list .
Outside my control The weather Where I live
In my control Games I want to play Things I want to learn
HELP AND ACTION
My family My age , etc .
People I want to be with Management of some of my feelings
When the child has listed what is in its control , make a plan together for doing or achieving one or more of those things .
As a helper you can sometimes assist the child to differentiate between what is possible and what is not . A child may have wishes that are unrealistic – or may give up all its wishes because it believes they are impossible , and therefore not worth trying for .
Restoring hope and facilitating self-agency are of the utmost importance . Note . “ Remembering goodness is as important to healing as remembering hurt ” ( Lieberman et al ).
4.7.8 The three houses
Children seek mastery and normality and are longing for good things . Traumatic events and abuse may overshadow what s good things in their lives and block their capacity to hope and dream about the future . At the same time , their worries need to be out in the open .