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When children have been traumatised by sexual abuse , they need adults to help them process what has happened to them . Helper and caregivers participate in this . You may have witnessed what happened ; you receive the confidences of the child ; you assist the child to understand and tolerate its feelings , and support the child in its anger , guilt , shame and grief . Adults play a critical role in helping a child who has been sexually abused to restore its self-respect and autonomy and acknowledge that the child was not responsible for what happened .
The child may need assistance to correct misperceptions , about who was to blame for what happened , who was responsible for not protecting it , and why the abuse “ happened to me ”. The importance of cognitive work should not be underestimated .
“ Adults play a critical role in helping a child who has been sexually abused to restore its self-respect and autonomy and recognise that it was not responsible for what happened .”
First and foremost , however , work to restore the child ’ s trust and confidence in others , in the world , in the future , and restore the child ’ s sense of dignity and self-esteem .
HELPER ADVICE
Talking to children about abuse
• Be present and attuned : show you are ready to hear the child ’ s story or participate in its play .
• Be aware of your own reactions . Take a deep breath and tolerate the pain .
• Expect the child to wander in and out of the story or play .
• Help to clear up misunderstandings if they come up .
• Listen carefully and be sensitive to the child ’ s reactions .
• Accept the child ’ s reactions ( for example , guilt and shame ).
• Take breaks when it becomes too intense . Help the child to “ get back to here and now ” by doing regulation activities ( suitable for its age ).
• Have cold water at hand ; stand up and move around ; wake the child ’ s body if the child disconnects or becomes withdrawn .
• Keep reminding the child that what happened is now over and that the child is safe now ( if that is true ).
• Try to get through the most difficult and painful part of the story . End the conversation when the child returns to safety . When ending the conversation , help the child back to here and now .
• Find an activity that will occupy and please the child . Go for a walk , bake a cake , cook , garden , play with a ball , listen to music , dance …
HELP AND ACTION