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Many children do not know that what they have experienced is abuse ; they believe such behaviour is a normal part of relationships . It is common to experience arousal during the abuse as a reaction to sexual touch . Many victims can assume that this means they wanted the sexual interference to happen and can even feel responsible for the assault . Shame and guilt contribute to the silence .
REFLECTION QUESTION
Questions to reflect on
• If a child ’ s behaviour ( or the behaviour of adults who are around the child ) gives you reason to believe that the child may have been sexually abused , how do you start to find out and to help ?
KEY TO KNOW
3.12.1 How can children express trauma ?
Children express trauma in many ways . Some children will describe directly what happened in words , while others will communicate more indirectly . For example , the abuse can be shown indirectly in play and behaviour . Pieces of the story can be told in drawings , and in writing , often mixed with fantasy and unrealistic elements that may make the facts difficult to understand . Sometimes the play can have a sexual character , and echo what the child experienced . Some will show harmful sexual behaviour that is threatening to other children and grown-ups .
“ Play becomes problematic or harmful if it is characterised by force , threats , and coercion . Such behaviour must be stopped in an age-appropriate and respectful manner . It is important to be curious about what is behind this behaviour . Sexual abuse is one of many hypotheses .”
Play becomes problematic or harmful if it is characterised by force , threats , and coercion . Such behaviour must be stopped in an age-appropriate and respectful manner . It is important to be curious about what is behind this behaviour . Sexual abuse is one of many hypotheses .
Trauma is often communicated indirectly through reactions such as somatic discomfort , sleep problems , behaviour problems , and anxiety . Some children will show acute trauma symptoms , such as intrusive memories , avoidance , and changes in arousal . Children who continue to keep their abuse secret , and who face being exposed to new assaults , can develop cumulative stress symptoms that may have a serious impact on their development ( as explained earlier ).
For many individuals it will take many years before they tell , and they may never reveal what happened . Some children will drop small and ambiguous hints , to check how adults around them respond . If an adult tries carefully to understand why , it can help the child say more . But if no one picks up the child ’ s cues , the child may keep the secret for a long time . Many will never talk directly about it but continue to express their woundedness in indirect ways .
3.12.2 Can we trust children ?
Research on children ’ s memory demonstrates that children as young as 2 or 3 years old can accurately recall events they have observed , but they need support and structure to correctly describe them . All children can be influenced by others in what they recall and what they say . Preschoolers are more susceptible to influence than schoolchildren . The ability of children to express themselves is strongly linked to the adult ’ s ability to pay attention and listen . It is important to remember that underreporting of violence and abuse occurs more often than lies .