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3.6 How attachment is affected by trauma
Children depend for their survival on their parents . Biologically there is an attachment bond from child to parents and from parents to child . When a threat ( or trauma ) occurs , the child expects the parents to provide a “ protective shield ”.
KEY TO KNOW
Robert Pynoos , a staff member at the National Child Traumatic Stress Network ( NCTSN ), used the term “ protective shield ” to analyse how trauma affects children . For many children exposed to a threat or traumatic event , the main concern is whether someone is present to protect them , regulate their fear , and soothe them .
• If parents are available , Pynoos claims , even after potentially traumatising events the child may still feel safe and may not show trauma reactions .
• When the parents are physically or emotionally unavailable , the child feels unprotected and has no resources for emotional regulation .
• The most harmful scenario for a child is one in which the person who puts the child in danger is the person who should be its protective shield .
Pynoos also claims that a trauma always triggers a child ’ s attachment system ( its safe relationships that can regulate pain ). He calls trauma reactions “ an unanswered cry ”, with the emphasis on “ unanswered ”.
Pynoos argues that , when the protective shield fails , it triggers a fantasy response . Children have fantasies of fear ( focusing on further dangers ); revenge fantasies ( a fight response ); or rescue fantasies . Sometimes the boundaries between fantasy and reality becomes blurred ( as we saw in Rama ’ s case ).
These fantasies sometimes blend into the child ’ s narrative of what happened , and as a result the child may be accused of lying . ( For instance , one four-year-old girl , who had been raped by a stranger , said : “ Then I kicked him hard in his face ”. This was a revenge fantasy .)