101
The family mourned silently and spoke to no-one . But both Sheila and her family felt broken . The father blamed the mother and accused her of being a bad mother , a very wounding accusation . The mother was deeply distressed and locked herself away in the house .
After a year Sheila returned to school , but she had changed . She was sad ; her childhood had faded . She no longer played or joined in community activities .
At the age of 12 a girlfriend asked her : “ Is it true that you are going to get married to an old man because nobody is going to love you ?” Sheila did not understand the question . When she got home , she told her grandmother about the conversation with her friend and , offended , the family decided to take her out of school .
The family did this to “ protect ” her , so that no-one would make fun of her . The girl stayed at home , where she learned to cook and sew clothes with her grandmother .
The story of Shabana , eight years old , Pakistan
Shabana
The story shows :
• Shabana was abused by her older sister , 18-year-old .
• Then a friend of her father attempted to assault her .
Shabana ’ s family of six were refugees . They lived in Peshawar . Because of their difficult living situation , the parents gave little attention to their younger children . Shabana , the second youngest , was an outstanding student . She had several schoolfriends .
Shabana wanted to be a journalist and speak to the country . She was admired more by her father than her mother . Her mother used to say that she was irritating and impolite . She had a very good relationship with her 18-year-old sister , Rabia , who always helped her in her studies and supported her in the family .
Shabana and her sister slept together in the same bed . When Shabana was eight years old , Rabia asked her to kiss and caress her and touched her private parts . She had oral sex with Shabana . Shabana felt weird and upset and was confused . After several nights , Shabana asked Rabia why she wanted to do this . She said she felt awkward , and dirty . Rabia told her that desire is a need that comes to a person , and that normally it is fulfilled with someone of the opposite sex . But she had no-one to ask , so she asked Shabana to help her feel good .
Shabana felt guilty for asking the question . She thought she should help her sister , who had helped her and protected her from her mother ’ s anger . The situation continued for more than 6 months .
Then one day a friend of Shabana ’ s father visited . When her father went to the bathroom , the man stood up and kissed Shabana on the mouth . Shabana disliked what he did and felt guilty and dirty . But she did not have the courage to tell anyone , not even her sister . After the incident , Shabana became depressed and started to have problems with her friends . She started to fight at school . She stopped talking to Rabia and refused to sleep with her in the same bed . She said she wanted to sleep with her mother , where she felt safe .
APPENDIX