j . Spectator — This person is just taking up space . They are just happy to be there . They do not take away from you , but they don ’ t add value either .
This is a crucial and sometimes painful step . Do NOT skip it !!!
4 . NOW COMES THE HARD PART ! How many do you have in each category ? You need at least one Counselor , Cheerleader , Iron Sharpener , and North Star . Spectators need to be given a seat elsewhere . You need to weed out the Haters , Limitators and Invalidators … NOW . You may be related to them or even married to them . Understand that even where you cannot remove them from your life , you MUST remove their negative influences from your life . They will weigh you down and hold you back . How you deal with is your choice , but it is a choice that you must make .
5 . Determine where you need to add to your circle . If you are missing an Iron Sharpener , how can you connect with one ? Where might you need to add a Counselor ? Be deliberate about creating relationships that fulfill these roles .
6 . Decide how you are going to add value TO your circle ! Give people a reason to want to be there . Create an environment that is rich in Love , Openness , Honesty , Authenticity , Reciprocity , Peace , Inspiration , Motivation , Innovation , and Compassionate Confrontation .
7 . Create an environment where the truth can be heard . Confrontation is a great way to create greatness . Iron sharpens iron through friction . If you set an iron sword on a sharpening block , the sword is not sharpened until you take action to create friction for the purpose of sharpening the blade . The sword and the block work together to refine and improve . The friction sharpens the blade !
8 . Create an environment where robust dialogue is appreciated . Don ’ t create spectators by shutting down ideas that are different than yours or are not what you want to hear . If all you ever here is “ Yes ,” you have a table full of spectators ! “ No ” is not always a bad word . It is really an invitation for negotiation , dialogue , and innovation . Put people in your circle who love you enough to tell you what you NEED to hear and not just what you want to hear ! Your Iron Sharpeners ought to hurt your feelings every once in a while . Get over it ! Get it together ! Get better !
9 . Commit to actively and regularly cultivating your circle . Whether it is your circle of friends , team at work or community partners , you must be willing to take control of your invitation list . Make sure that you are deliberate in who has access to your most precious asset — your mindset ! Remember , your circle of influence is by invitation only . It is an exclusive list that should be reserved only for those who will add value to your life and to whom you can add value . Many are called , but few are chosen . Finally , your circle changes with the seasons in your life . The circle that was good for you last year , may not need to be the circle you need to take you to the next level .
All Good People are not Good for You ! People with Bad Attitudes , Lack of Vision , and Scarcity Mentality are not Good for You !
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