Healthy Mama Magazine SPECIAL RED Edition - Feb 2015 | Page 57

Expanding

Compassion
Envelope
the

of

a Method for Beating Anger
By Leo Babauta from Zen Habits

Become the observer.
Actually say to yourself “I notice I am feeling anger”. When you do that, you put some space between
yourself and your impulses, and in that little space, you have room to decide.
And as you consider your response, you can then

Envelope.calm down, consider your actions.
• Take some deep breaths,

Expand the

• Consider the other person’s point of view.
• Don’t think, “They shouldn’t act that way” but instead think
“Why would someone act that way?”
Open that envelope a little bit wider to allow in the other person’s needs or problems. If you can see it
from their perspective, you might realize they’re having a hard day, or maybe even a hard life, or that
they're not even aware of what your needs are because you haven’t expressed them. That doesn’t
necessarily excuse whatever they’re doing, but if you can generate some empathy and compassion for
them, it will make it easier to express your own needs without the anger.
Expanding the envelope of compassion takes practice. You won’t always get it right but like anything,
the more you try the better you will get.

You’ll still have moments
of anger, frustration
and disappointment that’s life - but you’ll be
better equipped at
choosing how you
respond in those moments

and life will indeed be easier.

eo Babauta - Zen Habits
Leo Babauta is a simplicity blogger and author. He created Zen Habits, a Top 25 blog with
a millixson readers. He’s also a best-selling author of two books - From Zen To Done and The
Power of Less - a husband, father of six children, and a vegan. In 2010 he moved from Guam to
San Francisco, where he leads a simple life. He started Zen Habits to chronicle and share what he’s
learned while changing a number of habits, including: quitting smoking, participating in marathons
and triathlons, eliminating debt, losing 70 pounds, creating a successful blog, becoming a writer
and leading a life he loves.

HEALTHY MAMA MAGAZINE
57