Health & Wellness Magazine Live + Thrive Magazine - Summer 2018 - Page 10

{ LET ME explain a people puzzle that has always perplexed me: It’s OK to date. It’s OK to define a romantic relationship. It’s OK to re-evaluate a partnership. It’s OK to breakup. It’s hard in romantic relationships, but it is OK — if not essential to be able to date around and then break up when it doesn’t work out. You owe it to your friendship to put it all out on the table. The entire goal of The Talk is to bring everything to the surface: Why is this not OK with friendships? Why can’t I date friends? Why do I feel so bad wanting to re-evaluate friendships? Why do I feel silly trying to label some friends as ‘best’ friends? WHY DO I FEEL SO, SO, SO BAD BREAKING UP WITH FRIENDS? In romantic relationships we have breakups all the time — it is considered an important part of finding the right partner. But could you imagine saying to a new friend: “Um yeah. It’s been great seeing each other. But I just don’t think we are meant to be. I want to friend breakup. It’s not you, it’s me.” No way. I can’t imagine it. But here’s the thing: Sometimes we have to breakup with friends. Stomp out toxic relationships. See if you have one of these before moving on: This is one of the hardest articles I have EVER written. Partially because it is personal to me… I have been broken up with by a best friend and it broke my heart. I recently had to break up with a friend and it felt like death. It is very rarely talked about. • Hidden resentments • Miscommunications • Old fights • Jealousy • Misunderstandings • Boundaries RECOMMENDATIONS: • I recommend doing this in person — do not initiate over text or chat! Everything is better, clearer and easier in person. • Go with a goal in mind — do you want to clear something up? Do you want to address something? What would your ideal outcome be? OPTION #2: THE BREAK I think friendships sometimes need breaks. Especially if you just had a very difficult talk, you might need some time away. Breaks can serve to: • Give you a fresh perspective • Calm down • Miss each other HOW TO KNOW IF YOU NEED A BREAK UP: • Re-evaluate There are warning signs that a friendship needs to end. Here they are: Here’s the nice thing about breaks — you c