Health & Wellness Magazine Live + Thrive Magazine - Summer 2018 | Page 10

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LET ME explain a people puzzle that has always perplexed me:
It’s OK to date. It’s OK to define a romantic relationship. It’s OK to
re-evaluate a partnership. It’s OK to breakup. It’s hard in romantic
relationships, but it is OK — if not essential to be able to date
around and then break up when it doesn’t work out. You owe it to your friendship to put it all out on the table. The entire
goal of The Talk is to bring everything to the surface:
Why is this not OK with friendships? Why can’t I date friends? Why
do I feel so bad wanting to re-evaluate friendships? Why do I feel
silly trying to label some friends as ‘best’ friends?
WHY DO I FEEL SO, SO, SO BAD BREAKING UP WITH
FRIENDS?
In romantic relationships we have breakups all the time — it is
considered an important part of finding the right partner. But could
you imagine saying to a new friend:
“Um yeah. It’s been great seeing each other. But I just don’t think we
are meant to be. I want to friend breakup. It’s not you, it’s me.”
No way. I can’t imagine it. But here’s the thing: Sometimes we
have to breakup with friends. Stomp out toxic relationships. See if
you have one of these before moving on: This is one of the hardest
articles I have EVER written. Partially because it is personal to me…
I have been broken up with by a best friend and it broke my heart. I
recently had to break up with a friend and it felt like death. It is very
rarely talked about.
• Hidden resentments
• Miscommunications
• Old fights
• Jealousy
• Misunderstandings
• Boundaries
RECOMMENDATIONS:
• I recommend doing this in person — do not initiate over text or
chat! Everything is better, clearer and easier in person.
• Go with a goal in mind — do you want to clear something up?
Do you want to address something? What would your ideal
outcome be?
OPTION #2: THE BREAK
I think friendships sometimes need breaks. Especially if you just had
a very difficult talk, you might need some time away. Breaks can
serve to:
•
Give you a fresh perspective
•
Calm down
•
Miss each other
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU NEED A BREAK UP: •
Re-evaluate
There are warning signs that a friendship needs to end. Here they
are: Here’s the nice thing about breaks — you c