3 Secrets of Happiness
The secret to happiness is simple . It is based on a famous quote by professor and political figure Reinhold Niebuhr , “ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change , the courage to change the things I can , and the wisdom to know the difference .” How can you implement this principle ? Follow these 3 steps .
Step 1 : Identify sources of unhappiness .
For this step , you need two sheets of paper and a pen or pencil . Take the first sheet of paper and make a list of everything in your life that causes you unhappiness or dissatisfaction . Each person ’ s list will be different and your list will also change over time so you will want to make a new list as often as needed . Maybe as a teenager your unhappiness stemmed from lacking autonomy , in middle adulthood it was financial stress , and in older adulthood , your health became a concern .
Each person will have multiple things on their list but the size of your list will shrink over time , based on the extent to which you follow these steps . Once you have developed your list , use a second piece of paper to organise your list from top to bottom in terms of what causes you the greatest unhappiness ( at the top ) to the least unhappiness ( at the bottom ). Look at your ordered list and put a minus sign ( - ) in front of items you cannot change — things that are not under your control and put a plus sign (+) next to items that you can change + things that are under your control .
Step 2 : Accept what you cannot change .
For this step , you need items from your list with minus signs as well as an open heart and mind . In reading through these items , you might decide that some can be turned into plus signs , which is great . But in the end , some will be left sitting there as things you cannot change . They might include things like unrequited love , a certain relative or coworker , a health condition , or your age . Your goal is to make peace with these things .
Realise that stressors are put in your life for a reason . We grow from facing difficulties ; we become our best selves . Rather than feeling upset about the things you cannot change , feel grateful . Say “ thank you ” for the opportunity to grow . Each challenge presents a lesson to be learned . What is the underlying lesson ? Is it patience , persistence , empathy , forgiveness , love ? Keep in mind