Where Are You Stuck ? What Do You Need to Move Forward ?
What Support Do You Need ?
disconnection or it helps you question your approach and substitute a more realistic one : No , we ’ re having plenty of sex and affec ‐ tion , so it must be something else .
Where Are You Stuck ? What Do You Need to Move Forward ?
I know I need to talk to my boss about my job and how she thinks I ’ m doing , but I ’ m afraid to , or I realise my skills are shaky and I need more training . I need to spend more time with my daughter so she is less jealous , or I need to look up information on dealing with tantrums or talk to a therapist about managing this . We need couple therapy , or we need to have a heart-to-heart conversation about all the arguments we ’ ve been having and how to stop them . Knowing where you ’ re stuck helps you identify the problem under the problem , and the practical or emotional skills or steps you need to solve the problem . If you ’ re struggling in your job , get training ; if you ’ re afraid of your boss , learn to be assertive ; Ditto for tantrums or marital arguments .
What Support Do You Need ?
All this can be hard to do on your own ; sometimes you need support to change what you do — a friend to encourage your conversation with your boss or help you craft an email , a therapist who can teach you skills or hold you accountable : So , did spend one-on-one time with your daughter this week ? It helps to know that someone ’ s got your back and wants what you want .
There you go . Some questions to help untangle what it is that tangles you . Start by stepping back , getting a bit of perspective , look at the bigger picture and the pattern . Then ask yourself some of these questions . See what you discover . Problems will always crop up . While you can ’ t control what life throws at you , you can control how you think about them .
Robert Taibbi , L . C . S . W .,
has 49 years of clinical experience .
He is the author of 13 books and over 300 articles and provides training nationally and internationally .
Online : My Website