Healing and Hypnotherapy Volume 7, Special Annual Issue, 15 June 2023 | Page 15

10 Ways We Were Made to Feel Unsafe as Children
Three Types of Childhood Neglect
When there is a lack of safety within our home environment growing up , the child within us senses this acutely . But because we are largely vulnerable as children , there is little we can do , and so begins a deep patterning of trauma .

10 Ways We Were Made to Feel Unsafe as Children

The reality is that life isn ’ t ideal . The families that we are born into aren ’ t always great matches for us . And growing up , there were a number of ways we may have felt unsafe . Before we proceed , I want to clarify that I am in no way blaming our parents or caretakers here . It ’ s important to remember that most parents did the best they could with the level of information , education , and emotional / mental maturity they had . Blame and resentment only serve to intensify the pain your inner child may be experiencing . So be mindful and know your limits when it comes to doing this work . Here are some of the most common ways we were made to feel unsafe . How many can you relate to ?
• You were taught that it ’ s not okay to have your own opinions .
• You were punished when trying to speak up or act differently .
• You were discouraged from playing or having fun .
• You weren ’ t allowed to be spontaneous .
• You weren ’ t allowed to show strong emotions such as anger or joy .
• You were shamed by your parents or family members .
• You were verbally criticised / abused on a regular basis .
• You were physically punished or your physical boundaries were violated .
• You were made to feel responsible for your parents and their level of happiness .
• You weren ’ t given physical affection , e . g ., hugs , kisses , cuddles .
The more frequently these situations repeated themselves , the more likely your inner child felt unsafe , abandoned , and neglected . Also , this list is by no means exhaustive .

Three Types of Childhood Neglect

Let ’ s further break down the ways you were made to feel unsafe and unloved as a child ( if you had a dysfunctional upbringing ). Here are the three types of childhood neglect you may have experienced :