Lack of Safety and the Wounded Inner Child
Here are a few examples of toxic core beliefs that arise as a result of toxic shame :
• “ I am bad ”
• “ I am unworthy ”
• “ I am unlovable ”
• “ There is something deeply wrong with me ”
• “ I am irredeemably flawed ”
• “ I am stupid ”
• “ I am ugly ”
• “ I deserve to be punished ”
• “ I am a mistake ” Sadly , it is these toxic beliefs which underpin our grief , low self-worth , anxiety , depression , addictions , and self-destructive habits . It is astonishing how deeply entwined our wounded inner child , toxic shame , and destructive core beliefs are . Toxic shame lies at the very centre of the wounded inner child .
I bring a pain that is chronic A pain that will not go away I am the hunter that stalks you night and day Every day everywhere I have no boundaries You try to hide from me But you cannot Because I live inside of you I make you feel hopeless Like there is no way out MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME . – Shared by John Bradshaw , originally written by Leo Booth
Lack of Safety and the Wounded Inner Child
Another element that lies at the very core of the wounded inner child is a real or perceived lack of safety . Safety is not just physical , it is also emotional , psychological , and spiritual . For instance , when we feel truly safe within our family environment , we have our physical and emotional boundaries respected , our authentic selves accepted , and we feel close to and love by our family members ( most notably our parents ). Safety also involves being given the permission to grow and change and have our basic physical necessities met ( food , water , a safe home or neighbourhood ).