down , it ’ s also true that for a relationship to be mutually satisfying it does need to meet at least some of our needs . You might even want to ask your client directly : “ What is it that you and your partner give to one another emotionally , do you think ?”
Information gathering is an essential start , but it ’ s just a start
Information gathering isn ’ t treatment in itself . It ’ s seldom enough just to know why there might be problems . But information and observation does give us a good sense of what might improve a relationship . To start properly , we need to know where we need to go and why . A great relationship is , perhaps , one in which partners can both be themselves and also become , through what they share together , more than the sum of their parts . This – creating something together , more than you could achieve separately – is perhaps what it means to grow together through life . Relationships in which we feel we grow as a person can be the most satisfying and valuable of all . One thing ’ s for sure , your client ’ s relationship will never improve unless they keep working at it . A spark , after all , can only be lit in the in betweenness of flint and stone . For a fire to keep burning , it needs continual care .
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