6 ) Use your noggin
Think of emotion as a strong but stupid being that sometimes needs your guidance and direction . We need some emotion to motivate us , but it needs to be the right emotion at the right time applied in the right way . The more emotional we become , the less logical we become ( 4 ) . This is because emotions want us to react blindly and physically rather than to think or be objective and rational . Being objective and rational when a lion was attacking wouldn ' t have been great from an evolutionary point of view - because it would have slowed us down . But much of modern life needs measured calm thought rather than blind and sloppy emotional responses . If you force the thinking part of your brain to work when you start to feel emotional , then you can dilute and subdue the rampaging emotional part . You can do this by simply forcing yourself to remember three names of other students you went to school with or even running through the alphabet in your head . Try it - because it really will work .
7 ) Create spare capacity in your life
We experience counterproductive emotions for different reasons . Maybe we have never learnt to control ourselves or perhaps we are living in such a way that makes it more likely we ' ll experience emotional problems . Every organism , from amoeba to antelope and from bluebell flower to blue whale , has needs . And so do you . If these needs aren ' t met , then the organism will suffer . You have very basic needs for food , sleep , shelter , and water ; if these needs aren ' t met properly , you will feel more emotional - no doubt . But you also have emotional needs . To be emotionally healthy , a person needs to :
• Feel safe and secure ; feel they have safe territory .
• Regularly give and receive quality attention .
• Feel a sense of influence and control over their life .
• Feel part of a wider community .
• Enjoy friendship , fun , love , and intimacy with significant people .
• Feel a sense of status ; basically , feel they have a recognizable role in life . This also connects to a sense of competence and achievement .
• Feel stretched but not stressed to avoid stagnation , boredom , and to enhance self-esteem and a sense of status in life .
When these are met adequately , we then feel our life has meaning and purpose . Not meeting basic needs leaves us feeling that life is pointless and meaningless and will leave us wide open to emotional problems .