anxious about some imminent event , say to yourself : " Wow , how am I going to feel tomorrow / next week when I look back at this ?" Look beyond the immediate and you ' ll see the bigger picture and calm down , too .
2 ) Get to know yourself
We all kid ourselves a little / a lot . " No , I ' m really pleased for you ! No , I really am !" ( Arghhhhhhhh !) Learn to observe your own attitudes and emotional ebbs and flows . One key first step to emotional control is to know when we are actually being emotional and also why . If you catch yourself feeling unexpectedly strongly about something , ask yourself why . Controlling your emotions isn ' t about pretending they are not there . If you feel jealous , angry , sad , bitter , or greedy , label exactly how you are feeling in your own mind : " Okay , I don ' t like that I ' m feeling this way , but I ' m feeling very envious !" Now you ' ve admitted it to yourself . The next step is to identify why you feel the way you do : " I hate to admit it , but I ' m feeling envious of Bob because he ' s just been complimented for his work and I haven ' t !" Being able to exercise this self-honesty means you don ' t have to resort to what a large proportion of the human race do . You won ' t have to ' rationalize '. We rationalize by kidding ourselves that we are angry with someone not because they have got a raise at work and we haven ' t , but because of ' their attitude towards us ' or some other made up reason . Knowing what emotion you are feeling and being man or woman enough to identify the truth as to why you are feeling it means you ' re that much closer to doing something about it .
3 ) Change your mood ; do something different
We tend to assume that moods just ' happen to us ' and , like storms , the best we can do is wait until they pass . But , unlike climatic storms , we can influence - even change - our moods without resorting to unhealthy means such as alcohol or drugs . Being able to manage and influence your own emotions is a powerful marker for good health , emotional maturity , and happiness . One way to alter your mood is to instantly do something else . For example , if you feel flat and bored , continuing to watch uninteresting TV will deepen the mood . Switching it off and going for a walk in a new neighbourhood will inevitably change your mood . If you feel cross , consciously focus on three things in your life for which you can feel grateful . If you are anxious , start to