3 . Safety planning . Speak to an advocate at your local domestic violence agency about ways you ( and your child ) can get out of the situation as safely as possible . Start planning even if you are not yet in a position to execute your plan .
4 . Document everything . Keep a journal and make sure it is kept in a safe place . Keep photographs of bruises , holes in the wall , broken objects , etc . If you have received threatening texts or instant messages , or communications that acknowledge abuse , store these safely . If it is safe , text or email someone when something happens and ask them to store your message somewhere safe ( these will be time-stamped ). There are also apps and other digital tools that can help you document abuse .
5 . Act swiftly , especially if your young child is at immediate risk . If the abuser hits or shakes the child , forces you to ignore the child ’ s cries , forces you to neglect the child or gives your child medication to make them sleep , your child is at immediate risk . Reach out to emergency services , Child Protective Services , or a domestic violence advocate as soon as possible .
6 . Is it about money ? Maybe the person who abused you has never taken an interest in the child but is suddenly fighting for 50 / 50 parenting time as a way to try to avoid having to pay child support . If you think this is the case , speak with your lawyer and see if you have options . A good lawyer who understands domestic abuse is key to your custody case .
7 . Consider geographic alternatives . You absolutely do not want to be seen as moving your child to another city or state simply to deprive the other parent of access to the child . However , if your roots and family supports are in another state , or if the abuser recently moved you to a place where you are isolated , or if you have a new job opportunity , you may be able to make the case that you and your child will be better off living in a city or state closer to supportive people , even if that happens to be away from the abuser .
According to Jason V . Owens , a Massachusetts attorney who is experienced in custody cases involving domestic abuse , “ Jurisdiction over child custody matters is generally found in the child ' s home state ,” that is , the state where the child resided in the six months prior to the filing of a custody action . Accordingly , if a parent relocates to a new state with the child , the parent who remains in the ‘ home state ’ may petition the court for the return of the child .” Documentation of child abuse or even intimate partner abuse may help the fleeing parent keep custody of the child in the new state , depending on that