5 Biggest concern is emotional effect . What happens that , intellectually we may analyse and understand lots of things ; but , how emotionally equipped we are to handle something is a different story altogether .
6 So it is like permutation combination of various things . First those two people second their circumstances third their upbringing and its impressions all that matters when you step into the zone of honesty .
7 Most important - go to a premarital counsellor , learn conflict management and clear boundaries concept in terms of expectations and requirements . Specially , how to handle high stress conditions . Your expectations from Emotional to other family members and their influences , finance to children to sex , everything in order to have a clarity . Not to mention social media effect and its clear boundary since it is coming up as a single most stimulating reason in today ’ s complicated relationships . It will go a long way to built a happy relationship , than sharing your past .
What to Do :
First know each other just see who they are and what they want in their partner , and help them know it about you .
If your partner is not talking about their past then you do not have to start it .
Sometimes people talk about their past in order to just know yours they hardly give any important information so beware of such people . Follow your instinct .
On the other hand sometimes past is being used as an image building exercise too .
In courtship period , focus more , on knowing each other ‘ today ’. See who you are now and who is that person today , as in your likes and dislikes , day today life , what is your value system , specially little quirks about each other and their expectations in different aspects , which will be more useful in you being together .
If it turns out you really like each other and want to be with each other then no point dwelling over past . But , sit with each other and decide clearly that we do not want to go to each other ’ s relationship past and we have an unconditional pact to accept each other fully so far our past is concerned . Now stick to it for a life time . . Past is over anyway , and it cannot be changed .
However , it should be the wish of both partners . Otherwise expect honesty and be honest .