In psychology the technical term is “ reaction formation ” and this is something you ’ ll observe everywhere . The nature of the unconscious mind is that it requires absolute certainties – it needs to see the world in black or white . There is no grey , or “ in-between .” As a result , our minds tend to jump to one extreme or another . Many people , for example , who have had very strict religious upbringings grow older and become disillusioned with the dogmatic ideas they ’ ve been taught . Often , these people instantly jump onto the atheism bandwagon and become fanatical anti-God advocates – almost with the same level of dogmatism as the religion they were brought up in . Another example of a reactive extreme is a person who struggles to accept their sexuality . As a result , they might become actively homophobic and discriminate against the LGBTQI community ( remember Colonel Frank Fitts from the movie American Beauty )?
Why it ’ s harmful : Jumping to reactive extremes , while natural , limits our capacity to experience , embrace , and express all authentic parts of us . Not only are we usually harming others ( by reacting against them ), but we are hurting ourselves in the process .
8 . Suppression
All too often we live with the inner tension of conflicting desires that we fear will be socially unacceptable . Let ’ s say you want to laugh loudly and freely , but you know others will look at you strangely , so you suppress that authentic self-expression . Or perhaps you like a movie or a song that you know your friends don ’ t like , so you bury that desire away and forget about it .
While suppression can be helpful in some situations ( like taking care of small , demanding children ), it can be toxic when done regularly . Suppression doesn ’ t make a feeling , impulse , or thought within you go away . In fact , it can make it build inside like a pool of lava that is ready to explode at any point in the future .
Why it ’ s harmful : Suppression is a major obstacle in self-growth and living a fulfilling life because it results in an inability to be authentic to yourself ( which is the key element in self-Love ). The more you suppress within yourself , the more you have to adopt a false persona or mask to deal with the outer world . The more you wear this mask , the phonier you feel , and an