Healing and Hypnotherapy Volume 5, Issue -3, 1 September 2020 | Page 30

what could have been or what you could have done differently only creates more
suffering. Acknowledge these regretful thoughts, but try to consciously release
them. If you must, create a mantra that will help you live in the present such as I
live here, now.
26. What gift is this experience trying to impart?
Every experience in life holds a secret and sacred gift, even the most heartbreaking
circumstances. Explore what this person has taught you willingly or unwillingly.
What gift do you now possess that you didn’t before?
27. Explore the core issue
Often times we find letting go impossible because we are still confused about what
happened. In order to help you find peace, think about why your relationship
crumbled. Try to avoid blaming yourself or the other person: stick to the facts as
much as you can. For instance, you might discover that your relationship burned
out quickly because neither of you learned how to love yourselves, or perhaps the
central issue was being too busy or distracted.
28. Let go of the need to be right
The monkey mind (the ego) hates being wrong and is addicted to feeling right. One
way we stay locked in the past is by trying to desperately prove that we are the
victim, and the other is the perpetrator. In order to get past this, realise that what
was done was done. There is nothing that can be done about it now. The healthiest
thing for you is to move on and practice letting go.
29. Notice the minds tendency to romanticise
It is much easier to let go of a human being than your one true love or prince/
princess. In order to let go, remember the good as well as the bad. Our minds have
a habit of seeing the past through rose-tinted glasses, conveniently blocking out
whatever caused us suffering. Notice this mental trick and realise that happiness
cannot ever be found in the past, only the present moment.
30. Understand that you cannot change anyone
No matter how hard you try, how much you dream or plan, you cannot change
anyone. You cannot make anyone nicer or healthier or a better person. Sometimes,
we continue to cling to hope because were convinced that we can change our