To gain a more realistic view of yourself , you need to take appropriate credit for your successes . In the “ Self Confidence Trainer ” we call this skill ' Converting '. This involves learning how to convert real successes into statements about your self . The other part of the picture is to view perceived failures as temporary and not statements manifestations of your ' core identity '. When you stop discounting things that go well and magnifying stuff that doesn ' t go so well you are less likely to be depressed or suffer low self esteem . Period . Low self esteem treatment should consist of a balance between teaching new thinking , emotional and behavioural skills . Ultimately a healthy balance should be encouraged , as should the development of real practical skills such as how to be assertive and build a social life .
10 ) It ' s not just about positive thinking !
Positive thinking can be useful in that it challenges you to form a different view on things . However , most of the time it just takes the form of arguing with yourself , and as we ' ve seen from 4 ) above , this doesn ' t work . Low self esteem may drive us to constantly and negatively compare ourselves to other people . As self esteem rises to a healthy level you ' ll find that you do this much less . To change your self image and improve low self esteem , you need to believe in an alternative opinion of yourself through experience , not just repeat platitudes about how great you are really ! After all in the words of someone wise : " If you are not for yourself then who else will be ?”
References
1 Late in 2001 , thinking about ' low self esteem ' changed worldwide . The Rowntree Report
2 The costs and causes of low self esteem ) paved the way for more effective , research-based identification and treatment of low self esteem .
3 See : Baumeister , R ., Smart , L ., & Boden , J . ( 1996 ). Relations of threatened egotism to violence and aggression : The dark side of high self-esteem . Psychological Review , 103 , 5-33 .
4 Baumeister , R . ( 1996 ). Should schools try to boost self-esteem ? Beware the dark side . American Educator , 20 , 14-19 .
5 The World Health Organisation ( WHO ) estimates that depression is on the increase in all age groups but specifically young adults and children .
6 Canadian researchers found those with low self-esteem actually felt worse after repeating positive statements about themselves . They said phrases such as " I am a lovable person " only helped people with high self-esteem . The study appears in the journal Psychological Science . The researchers , from the University of Waterloo and the University of New Brunswick , asked