Healing and Hypnotherapy Volume - 4, issue 9 1 March 2020 | Page 14
3. Passive Parents
Characteristics: Rarely set in place rules or do much in the way of actively
parenting. Prefer to let their children do whatever they want (because they
want to avoid dealing with conflict). Take the backseat to a more dominant
mate. Tend to be push-overs. Don’t stick up for their children. Will allow abuse
and neglect to occur by looking the other way. Cope with stress by minimising
and acquiescing.
4. Rejecting Parents
Characteristics: Don’t enjoy intimacy. Mostly want to be left alone. Punish
strong displays of emotion. Don’t tolerate the needs of others or differences in
opinion. Actively shame and belittle you. Fail to treat you as equal. Issue
commands from a place of “parental superiority.” Have a pattern of blowing
up and isolating themselves.
What categories do your parents fit into?
Remember that it’s possible to have a parent who fits into multiple types with
varying intensities.
How to Stop Being Controlled By Emotionally Immature Parents
Emotionally immature parents fear genuine emotion and pull back from
emotional closeness. They use coping mechanisms that resistant reality
rather than dealing with it. They don’ t welcome self-reflection, so they rarely
accept blame or apologise. Their immaturity makes them inconsistent and
emotionally unreliable, and they’re blind to their children’s needs once their
own agenda comes into play.
– L. C. Gibson
Being the child of an emotionally immature parent is a terribly and inhumanely
lonely experience. We grow up not only feeling fundamentally unsafe in the
world, but we may even lack a sense of our own basic realness.
Having adopted false roles as children in a desperate attempt to be accepted,
we struggle to discover who we authentically are. We may feel ashamed once
we do discover our genuine needs and desires, leading to chronic self-
esteem issues. Our sense of alienation and emotional deprivation means that
we are more prone to suffering from addictions and mental health issues like
depression and ongoing anxiety.