Healing and Hypnotherapy Volume 4 Issue- 10, 1 April 2020 | Page 23

crossed? In which areas do you feel used or taken for granted? What makes
you feel unsafe? You might like to explore these questions in your journal
Remember that being assertive about your needs and values isn’t a synonym
for being an obnoxious asshole. You don’t need to be loud, angry or
emotionally reactive to be an advocate for yourself – that approach will
backfire very quickly. Instead, healthy assertiveness is about honouring
yourself while at the same time being respectful towards others.
Some mantras or affirmations that you might like to repeat to yourself to
practice healthy assertiveness include:
• “I calmly and firmly honour my needs”
• “I respect my needs in a gentle and assertive way”
• “I allow myself to say no clearly and respectfully”
• “I honor my needs, values, and feelings always”
• “I create clear and consistent boundaries that protect my energy”
• “I have the right to defend my needs and desires”
You can also take these mantras/affirmations and create some of your own!
7. Explore the core beliefs that keep you small
First, I want to start by saying that this is DEEP work. Although it may not
seem like it at first, diving into the dark nether regions of your mind is an act
of self-love.
Excavating your core beliefs (the main ideas you have about yourself) can
and will transform your life if you know how to do it properly.
I’ll give you a few helpful examples of core beliefs. Common ones include “I
am bad,” “There’s something innately wrong with me,” “I’m not worth it,” “I’m
unlovable,” “I’m irrevocably broken.”
There are many ways to uncover and change your core beliefs. One practice
I have recently discovered is how powerful the use of a mirror can be. Stand
in front of a mirror in your house and designate at least ten minutes to stand
alone and undisturbed with yourself. Then, simply look at yourself. Gaze into
your eyes. What emotions and thoughts emerge? Mirror work is one of the
most direct and dynamic ways of uncovering your self-talk and core beliefs.
Pay attention to inner dialogue that sounds like the following: “I look so ugly,”
“This is stupid,” “There’s something wrong with me,” and notice what type of
thoughts and feelings you keep having.  Then, enfold your body in a hug, look
at yourself and say, “It’s okay, I am here for you, I accept you” (or whatever