Healing and Hypnotherapy Volume 4 Issue- 10, 1 April 2020 | Page 21

there and then. But after a few months, I thought, “what the hell!” and gave it
a try. And what a humungous difference it made to my life. Instead of getting
defensive, I would feel the sting to my ego but another part of me would feel
gratitude, gratitude for the chance to grow.
So give this mindset trick a spin. See what happens when you start
perceiving your imperfection as an opportunity to grow. See what happens
when you meet inner challenges with gratitude.
4. Practice loving all that arises
Critical and condemnatory self-judgment is the antithesis of self-love. The
core reason why we struggle so much with self-love in the first place is that
we JUDGE and REJECT ourselves.
Don’t get me wrong. Self-judgment is not always a bad thing. We need to be
able to measure up our ability to achieve certain tasks at work, as well as
understand our strengths and weakness to make smart choices. Not only
that, but self-judgment can actually save our lives (e.g. “hmm, I’m too
distracted after drinking alcohol so I probably shouldn’t drive on that busy ass
highway.)
But, here’s the thing. Self-judgment becomes toxic when it is used to
negatively scrutinize, minimize, bad-mouth shame or otherwise harm
ourselves. Unfortunately, most of us are in the habit of doing this. Thanks to
our conditioning as children, it is actually socially acceptable to give ourselves
shit because that’s what everyone else has been doing for a long time.
One powerful – but not necessarily easy – practice, is learning to love all that
arises. And when I write “all” I mean everything! When I write “love” what I
mean is embracing and accepting the  nice and nasty, comfortable and
uncomfortable things within you. I also refer to this as radical self-acceptance.
As writer and teacher Matt Kahn explains:
• Instead of trying to shift your feelings, just love the one who can’t stop
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feeling.
Instead of trying to resolve each fear, simply love the one who’s always
afraid.
Instead of trying to not take things personally, just love the one who came
here to make like personal.
Instead of trying to prove your worth, simply love the one who feels
worthless, lost, ashamed, and alone.
Instead of trying to leap forward in evolution, just love the one who feels left
behind.