It was only after this that he shared with me how things had improved for
him at work and at home. After three or four sessions, he had made peace
with his younger self, including the rejection he felt as a child when his
mother went from homemaker to working at a full-time job.
The process I’ve found most successful is to bring the client to a
somnambulistic state, elicit the emotions and regress to the first time the
emotions were experienced. The initial sensitizing event (ISE) is often
experienced before the age of seven. When a client is regressed to what
he indicates is the ISE, it is important to ask if the emotions are ‘familiar or
new’ to him at that age. Regressing to the event in which the client
describes the emotion as a ‘new’ experience is key to a successful
regression.
Allowing the client to describe what he is experiencing and feeling brings
the event out of the closet, so to speak. It gives light to a story that is often
well-hidden from the client’s conscious awareness. And in the event the
client is aware of the experience, it may surprise the client how much
emotion is still present. I often ask the client to imagine the younger self in
front of him, to examine his face, to breathe him in. The client is then
guided to apologize to his younger self for having had the experience (“I’m
sorry you had to experience this”, “I’m sorry they did not understand you”,
“I’m sorry you were hurt”…).
I guide the client to continue looking at the child’s face, eyes to eyes, and
say “I see you. I hear you. I love you. I understand and accept you”. This
usually has a profound impact. The client is then guided, using my words or
his own, but usually a combination of the two, to bring adult wisdom of the
situation to the inner child. Statements, such as “your parents were only
trying to keep you safe” may be
appropriate to share the larger story
to the child.
Sometimes, the only right thing to
say is “you did nothing wrong; you
were not responsible; you were
only a child”, “they didn’t know any
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