Healing and Hypnotherapy Volume 2, Issue 9, 1 March 2018 | Page 9

For a little while, I had figured a way I could get by when meeting
new people. If it was someone I wouldn't actually be working with
on a continuous basis. I would simply put a band-aid on the thumb
and no one was the wiser. But if you begin to spend time with the
same person more and more regardless if it's socially or
professionally. Sooner or later the band-aid must come off. Even
daily routine rituals were no longer safe.
When I first started driving back when I was 15 years old. I was
taught to hold the steering wheel at a 10 and 2 position with both
hands. That didn't last very long. As I became cooler at driving and
driving cars with manual transmissions as well. The habit of
holding the top of the steering wheel with my left hand and my
thumb resting on the steering wheel facing me was just my norm.
But now, I became conscious of the fact that it was always in plain
sight of everyone in the vehicle.
Were they staring at it making judgments? The mind can certainly
play havoc with you. If you let it.
Soon, I found myself working with people over the internet that
perhaps I would never personally meet but again found myself
being cautious even in those situations after one particular event. I
recall sending someone a photo of a book we had been talking
about. It was of certain paragraphs found within that book. I quickly
took a photo and sent it over the phone. Then I notice my left
thumb was captured in the photo. Too late the photo had already
been sent.
As you can see in that very photo above, I kept the nail trimmed
way back since it wouldn't attach itself to the nail-bed.
Occasionally, I would let it grow regardless that it wasn't attached
so both thumbnails would be the same length. This, however,
simply gave the nail a hollow section under the nail that could trap
moisture. One of the enemies of a nail and one of the causes for
nail fungus. The nail itself was yellow and thick as you can see
almost all the way to the matrix, which is where the nail first grows
out of the skin near the cuticle.
So here I was, planning the rest of my life. Re-inventing myself at
the age of 56 and starting over. However, this time around, I was
working with additional faults and a damaged self-image that had
diminished over the past couple of years. I felt like I had several
issues I wish I never had. Mostly, cosmetics but others perhaps
psychological. A receding hairline, damaged thumbnail, and the list
seemed to be affecting my self-confidence as well.