E D I T O R ’ S
M E S S A G E
Di n e e n Pa s h o u k o s Wa s y l i k – DP W Le g a l
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But there’s also an undercurrent of coping difficulties
(so, so many references to “wine-o’-clock” and day drinking
and understandable impatience and anger). It can be
scarily easy to slip into unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Stress causes not just fight or flight, but also freeze.
Physiologically, the best ways to break free of that freeze
and complete the stress response cycle include exercise/
movement, mindfulness and meditation, or even a good
old-fashioned cry or scream.
In the face of so much additional stress, I am reminded
to lean on one of my favorite life skills books: The Four
Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This simple, small tome
carries four big ideas that make business and life smoother.
They are:
1. “Be impeccable with your word.” Be honest with
yourself and others. Speaking with integrity is the
first step to managing difficult situations.
2. “Don’t take anything personally.” If my first
thought is “what a jerk!” I take an immediate step back.
What might this person be going through that is
The Stann Givens
Family Law Inn
of Court
making him angry or sad or mean? I don’t know, but
I do know it is not about me. So I remove myself from
the equation and find I can handle the situation much
better when I don’t let taking offense get in the way.
3. “Don’t make assumptions.” This is all about
asking good questions, expressing yourself honestly,
and avoiding drama.
4. “Always Do Your Best.” This one sounds like you
must be absolutely be 100% on your game, but it’s
not. Your best differs from moment to moment, and
sometimes your best is writing the best brief of your
life and sometimes your best is showering before 10
am. Whatever kind of day it is, do your best without
self-judgment or self-abuse or regret.
The undercurrent of these four rules is caring: Caring
for yourself, and approaching the people with whom you
interact with care. If we can remember to choose caring,
we will get through this, and our lives and our profession
will be better for it. And if you need help, please ask. The
Florida Bar’s Lawyers Assistance Program confidential
hotline, 800-282-8981, can provide much-needed support.
In the meantime, do your best.
Tampa’s only Family Law Inn,
the Stann Givens Family Law Inn of Tampa,
is now accepting applications for the
2020-2021 Inn year, which starts
in August 2020.
Are you new to the practice of family law?
Do you want to get more involved in the family law community?
Are you interested in getting to know the judges who will be presiding over your family law cases?
Formed in 1995, The Stann Givens Family Law Inn of Tampa is an organization of family law judges,
magistrates, hearing officers, attorneys, and law students, who are dedicated to professionalism,
ethics, civility, and excellence in the practice of family law. We were the first Inn in Tampa to be
recognized by the American Inn of Court as achieving the highest standards of an Inn – Platinum.
We hope that you will consider becoming a member.
TO APPLY, COMPLETE THE APPLICATION ON OUR WEBSITE at:
www.inns.innsofcourt.org/for-members/inns/the-stann-givens-family-law-
american-inn-of-court-of-tampa.aspx or Google “Givens Inn.”
THE DEADLINE TO APPLY IS JUNE 30, 2020.
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