HCBA Lawyer Magazine Vol. 28, No. 2 | Page 23

FROM THE JudgE: MY Own COLLABORATivE divORCE
Collaborative law Section
Chairs: Tina Tenret - ProVise Management Group & Ellie Probasco - Probasco Law
M
© Can Stock Photo / alexskopje
y own collaborative
divorce process
wrapped up in
March, and
honestly, I can’t thank my ex-
husband’s attorney enough for
recommending it. Let me set the
stage for you.
I was running for election for
circuit court judge and campaigning
against a very formidable opponent,
all while trying to manage my
practice at a large law firm. I
received a call from a lawyer
who calmly informed me that my
husband wanted a divorce after
thirty years of marriage. I was
stunned. During that fifteen-minute
conversation, my whole world fell
apart. How could I possibly handle
my practice, the campaign, and
the stigma of a divorce and its
potentially negative effects on
my election? How would I tell
my campaign finance committee,
my supporters, the voters, and my
campaign consultant, who stressed
the importance of family support for
any candidate in an election? Above
all, how would I tell my children?
As this surreal and seemingly
endless conversation came to a
close, the attorney informed me
that my ex-husband wanted to
make every effort to preserve my
chance for election. She suggested
that I join him in considering a
more private, less combative
method of resolution called
NOV - DEC
2017
friends and to
“collaborative
be reciprocal
divorce.” Both
support for each
confused and
other generally
relieved, I
and in crises,
promptly
such as the recent
researched the
Hurricane Irma.
collaborative
These trained
process. After
profes sionals kept
my research and
us focused on the
much reflection,
end game and
my ex-husband
At the end of the day,
the best interest
and I opted to
of our children
proceed with
while both of us felt that
and did not allow
the collaborative
we
each
gave
up
more
us to succumb to
process, which
greed or revenge.
we both now
than we should have,
At the end of the
agree was a very
the inequity was far
day, while both
good decision.
exceeded by the
of us felt that
How
we each gave
collaborative
emotional peace of mind,
up more than
divorce works
our ongoing positive
we should have,
and what it
the inequity was
involves varies;
relationship, and the
far exceeded by
there is a
money saved in litigation
the emotional
wide range of
peace of mind,
flexi