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Well , I nearly choked on my Weet-Bix whilst reading a yarn about cricket on the ABC website . Written by some Neville Nobody called Dean Bilton .
Such was my disgust , I immediately got on the blower and rang a circle of mates , explained what I had read and nearly all of them exclaimed , “ he ’ s a picnic hamperer ”. ( Rhyming slang ).
Bilton ’ s yarn followed the morning after day one of the Third Test against the Pakistanis at the Sydney Cricket Ground .
He described Australia ’ s bowlers Mitchell Starc , Josh Hazelwood , Pat Cummings and Nathan Lyon as “ the most prolific quartet in Test cricket history ”.
I presume he was writing that all four Aussie bowlers combined had better wicket-taking figures than any previous bowling combinations down the history of cricket .
Or was he writing that combined , they had to be the best performed bowling quartet Test history . You ’ d never know from his article . But lemme tell ya , there have been umpteen greater bowling combinations down the years than the current Australian trundlers .
This foursome is better than the combinations put up by the West Indies in
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the 1970s and 1980s ?? I think not ! How do you reckon today ’ s Australian batting lineup would fare with Malcolm Marshall , Michael Holding , Andy Roberts , Joel Garner and Curtly Ambrose thundering towards them ?
And before them in the 1960s , West Indies could field a bowling lineup which included Charlie Griffiths , Wes Hall , Garfield Sobers , Sonny Ramadhin and Lance Gibbs .
Have a gander at the English lineup which decimated Australia during the Bodyline series – Harold Larwood , Bill Voce , Bill Bowes and Hedley Verity .
And special mention of the Pommy side which easily tossed Australia in the Ashes series here in 1954-55 .
The bowling lineup included the great Frank Tyson , Brian Statham , Trevor Bailey and Alec Bedser .
Previous Australian teams also coughed up the likes of Lillee , McKenzie , Jenner and Mallett , and Lillee , Thomson , Walker and Mallett .
And what about all the other countries which down the decades have put onto the field great bowling combinations . The list goes on and on ! And it must be remembered that Test
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cricket these days is a far cry from 30 and more years ago when all the Test nations could field powerful lineups .
These days Tests are played against minnows Zimbabwe , Bangladesh , Ireland and Afghanistan . And nowadays , the Pakistanis and Sri Lankans are proving to be easybeats .
And for your knowledge , here ’ s a list of when nations achieved Test status .
1877 : England and Australia . 1889 : South Africa . 1929 : West Indies . 1932 : India . 1952 : Pakistan . 1982 : Sri Lanka . 1992 : Zimbabwe . 2000 : Bangladesh . 2019 : Ireland . 2016 Afghanistan .
Methinks Bilton should wear a pair of boxing gloves to bed !
G . O . A . T really gets my goat .
Some person , obviously with nothing else to do in his or her life , came up with the acronym meaning Greatest of All Time .
Before I get onto what gets my goat , I ’ m sure you will be interested in where getting one ’ s goat comes from . Originally it was horse racing slang . Trainers frequently stabled a goat with a racehorse to keep it company and stress-free .
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But as is their want , scallywags would abduct the goat a day or two before a major race so the neddie would fret for his companion and race below par .
I suppose for the horse ’ s frustrated trainer and owners , a thief getting their goat would certainly get their goat !
Anyways , back to anointing a sportsman or woman as the Greatest of All time – it is absolutely ridiculous .
How can you possibly compare athletes from one era to another ? It is impossible . Yep , G . O . A . T certainly gets my goat so let ’ s change it to G . O . T . E – Greatest of their Era .
HIGH MARKS : Spent an enthralling hour or so on YouTube trawling clips of Malcolm Marshall bowling . He is arguably the greatest fast bowler in cricket history . Just have a look at his first-class and Test bowling figures .
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