84
Harmony in Marriage
transgression, will be erased. Otherwise, all the pushing and
shoving you do will come back to bother you. Things will lose
their intensity with pratikraman.
Questioner : But should there not be an occasional
angry exchange between a husband and a wife?
Dadashri : No. There is no such law. There should be
a lot of peace between a husband and a wife. If there is any
hurt in the relationship, it cannot be considered a ‘husband and
wife relationship’. When even friends do not hurt eachother,
how can a husband and wife do so? The friendship between a
husband and wife is the highest friendship of all. Such a
statement/belief (referring to the Questioner’s question) is a way
of justifying such behaviours. People who have altercations in
their marriage use such a statement in order to justify their
anger. Anger has no place at all between husband and wife.
Questioner : In our scriptures, it is written that a woman
should treat her husband like the Lord. She is to obey and
follow his commands. How can a woman apply this in this day
and age?
Dadashri : Only if the husband is like Lord Rama,
should she become like Sita. Now if he is belligerent and
disgusting and behaves awkwardly, how is it going to work if
you do not behave in the same manner? It would be superlative
if you could live in harmony, but that is not feasible. How can
the wife remain calm when he keeps pushing and prodding?
What else is the poor wife to do? The husband should adopt
a conduct that is becoming of an ideal husband and he should
adopt conduct that is becoming of an ideal wife. If the husband
makes a little mistake, she should endure it, but if he starts to
abuse her, what is the poor woman to do?
Questioner : “The husband himself is The Eternal