Harmony in Marriage
81
Instead they look for it on the outside. What strength is there
on the outside?
It is because of tolerance that every household has
disputes. People go around believing, “Look how much I have
to tolerate.” A solution has to be brought about by thinking
things through. All events that come your way are nature’s
creations, so how will you escape them? If you want to settle
your vengeances from your past lives and avoid creating new
ones in your lives to come, you need to find a way out. The
purpose of this current life is to unravel all revengeful ties from
your previous life. You do this by settling all matters with
equanimity, with everyone. Then your children will have such
good upbringing.
Questioner : My friend has asked this question. Her
husband is always getting angry with her, what is the reason
behind this?
Dadashri : That is good, it is better that her husband, as
opposed to others, gets angry. After all, he is one of your own.
What do these blacksmiths do when they have a piece of steel
they want to bend? They heat it and when it becomes bright red
with heat, they hammer it so that it will bend. It can then molded
into any shape desired. This example is applicable to human
beings as well. If one gets hot, he becomes weak. The angrier
he is, the weaker he becomes, making him more vulnerable to
change. When he is weak, it takes little effort for the wife to
form him in a way that is to her liking.
Questioner : Reform him into what, Dada? What does
she do with him once he is under her control?
Dadashri : She can reform him how ever she pleases.
She can turn her husband into a parrot. He will repeat whatever
she says. He can become just like a parrot, but people do not