Harmony in Marriage
35
o’clock and do it also.” I asked him if his wife allowed him to
do it at 3 o’clock in the morning. He replied, “Even as a young
child I used to do it. My father, the doctor, he too used to do
it.” So I asked him, “Now that you have a wife, how does she
let you do it at 3 o’clock?” He replied, “My wife too tells me
that I have to do namaj.” Then I asked him if he ever
quarrelled with his wife. He was astonished, “What are you
asking? What is this you ask? My wife is the sweetness of my
life. If she tells me off, I accept it. Sir, it is because of my wife
that I live. She gives me a lot of happiness. She makes wonderful
meals and feeds me. How can I hurt her?” Now if men
understood even this much, it would be good, they would not try
to dominate your wife. Should they not understand this? Is the
wife at fault? ‘Sweetness of my life, even if she curses me, there
is no problem. If anyone else was to curse at me, I would sort
him out!’ Now tell me how much these men cherish their wives!
[6] THE HABIT OF POINTING OUT FAULTS IN
OTHERS
Questioner : She feels bad if her faults are pointed out
to her, but she also feels bad if I do not say anything.
Dadashri : No, no, no, she will not feel bad. If you do
not point out her mistakes, she will tell you herself that the
kadhee was salty and she will ask you why you did not say
something. That is when you tell her that you do not have to say
anything because she would have found out eventually. Instead,
you complain, “This soup is too salty!” which is accompanied
by a look of disgust on your face. You foolish man! What kind
of a man are you? How can one keep you as a husband? Such
husbands need to be thrown out! Such weak husbands! Is she
not able to see her mistakes herself that you have to create a
conflict? Why hurt her unnecessarily? She will think to herself,
“Don’t you think I know that? You always criticize me. You hurt