Harmony in Marriage
23
Dadashri : The one who has understanding. The one
who has the right understanding will let go and the one who is
using the wrong intellect will continue pulling. But when you let
go, do not let go all of a sudden, because if you do, she will
fall. Let go very gradually, otherwise the poor person on the
opposing end, will fall down. So from now on, will you let go
of this rope? Let go, otherwise you will have to tie a knot in it
and then use it. Does it look good to tie knots in it every day?
You have to use that rope again! What do you think?
Do you have discord at home? It should not occur at all.
If it happens then you are an unfit husband, and if the wife does
it, then she is an unfit wife.
Questioner : How do quarrels between a husband and
wife, affect their children?
Dadashri : Oh ho! Quarrels have very negative effects
indeed! A small child watches his dad abusing his mother. He
will think that the father is the culprit, but he dare not say
anything. He knows that if he says anything he will be punished.
These children make a note of everything. When they see such
trouble in the house, they make a mental note to themselves,
“When I grow up, I will sort out my father!” He will then grow
up and abuse his dad! The dad will say, “Did I bring you up so
that you could beat me?” The son will say, “Then who brought
you up?” The father will retort, “Are you bringing my father into
this?” and the son will reply, “I will even bring in your
grandfather!” He does this, because his father gave him the
scope to do so. It is our own fault as parents that we spoil their
minds by quarrelling. Why should we fight at home? If parents
do not fight, children will not make note of this, and they will
grow up respecting their parents.
Why are young adults and teenagers disenchanted about
marriage? I asked them what objection they had. “Is it that you