The Calzone Theory
Hello , I ’ d like to talk to you today about “ The Calzone Theory ”, but first , we need to talk about parallel universes . For this article , we will define a parallel universe ( PU ) as a sort of alternate reality to the one that we live in , where a different choice was made that does not change the outcome of the universe . While some people consider these universes with different outcomes PU ’ s as well , we ’ ll get into that later .
So imagine someone comes up to you and asks you to draw them a circle . They proceed to then give you a piece of paper , and two crayons , red and blue . You then notice that the person did not specify which color they wanted you to use , so let ’ s just assume that it doesn ’ t matter . By choosing to draw the circle on the piece of paper with the red crayon , you have just created a PU where you drew the circle with the blue crayon . Now let ’ s talk about what happens if you used the red crayon , but drew the circle on the table , instead of the piece of paper . This time , you create a PU where you drew the circle on the table with the blue crayon .
Notice how the sets of universes where the circle is on the paper and the circle is on the table are kept separate . This is because the outcomes of these universes are different . We call this system “ PU alignment ” because our sets of PU ’ s all contain the same outcome . Make sure to keep all your PU ’ s aligned , you never know what may happen if you get PU misaligned .
Now let ’ s get onto the calzones , our feature piece . Let ’ s say you and your buddy order up a calzone that you plan on eating . But did you know that the calzone actually has two separate states of existence ? Let me explain it to you ; after a calzone is made , it is put in a stationary state where its location is defined . As soon as the calzone is touched it enters the “ roaming calzone ” state . A roaming calzone will stay roaming until the split second before it is eaten , in which it will turn back into a stationary calzone for consumption . As of now , there is no possible way to consume a roaming calzone . There ’ s a bit more to it than that though ; when a stationary calzone is touched , the stationary calzone is actually stored in a sort of half existence state , along with its location , called the Held Calzone ’ s Last Position ( HCLP ). When the roaming calzone transitions into the stationary state , the roaming calzone disappears , the HCLP updates to the position of the roaming calzone , and the