Passiveness:
Passiveness means when you let others to take advantage of you, you don’t really seem to look for your own rights, but for the happiness or comfort from other people that -most of the time- don’t even care for you wellbeing. It is not good, why? Because it doesn’t let you to grow completely, you can’t get to be yourself because you are way too scared to talk and to say what you think and feel. Nope, that is not good. It doesn’t matter from which angle you look; you are not going to be happy with that kind of attitude, because it resembles a bird in a cage. The bird is your thought and your fear or shyness is the cage, they can never be free, or at least not completely.
Aggressiveness:
Now, in the aggressiveness we see the opposite attitude to de passiveness. Can you guess what kind of behavior are we talking about? Here you act tough to others, in an almost violent way. You don’t care about others rights, but of your own comfort and happiness. Leadership is also a very important goal in this kind of people; they want to control everyone’s actions and even thoughts and feelings. Then, if they can’t, they act as if they weren’t important, and why do they do that? Because they are not like them or because they are not how they want them to be. For them to be satisfied everything should be done the way they want to, no more no less.
Assertiveness:
Assertiveness, this is the good one. As Tom Hallett says in his article of assertiveness, it is a kind of balanced combination of both passiveness and aggressiveness; you look for others good but yours too. Here you respect other’s way of thinking, but also let others know what you think and feel. You are direct but correct at the same time. This is actually the correct attitude of these three and if everyone had it communication would be way easier and better. By this you may now understand that you have to overcome the feeling of shyness and fear and talk your head out, or in an aggressive case: be more careful with your attitude because it may harm others.
You must never think that a passive attitude is okay, just because it doesn’t violates others’ rights. It isn’t because it violates your rights, and that is not good. By having an assertive attitude you can feel okay with the people that surrounds you and also yourself.
Hallett, Tom. "Assertiveness: Getting What You Want or Need By Working With People, Not Against Them." Assertiveness. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Apr. 2014. <http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/Assertiveness.htm>.
"Assertiveness." Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Apr. 2014. <http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/assertiveness>.
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