The Guru and the Disciple
115
(matbhed) with your wife leaves, know that you have found a
real guru, or else you will continue to have matbhed. You will
continue to have conflicts with your wife every day. What good is
it when no lasting change occurs after having met a guru?
One’s conflict at home does not go away, one’s weakness
causing inner discord does not go away, and yet he claims he has
found a guru. You have met a guru if conflicts and discord at
home come to and end, otherwise how can you say you have met
a guru? Generally, people will try to pull you on their side and that
is how they live life. They make you turn the ego that was on one
side onto another side. If you meet a guru for six months, he will
at least teach you something so that conflicts in your home will go
away. Not only the conflicts in the home, but also the conflicts in
the mind will go away. If conflicts continue in your mind, then you
should leave that guru and find another one.
What good is the guru if your worries and matbhed do not
go away and conflicts and complications at home do not stop?
You have to tell that guru, ‘At home I still become angry with my
children; stop that for me, otherwise next year I will go
elsewhere.’ Can you say at least this much to a guru or not?
What do you think? Otherwise, these gurus keep getting the
sweets (money and respect from disciples) regularly in installments.
So this ignorance continues, not just in India, but everywhere else
too.
Test the guru before you make him your guru
Questioner: Is there a sure way of recognizing and being
sure that a person is a real guru?
Dadashri: As far as recognizing one, a real guru is someone
who, even if you insult him, does not have to forgive you;
forgiveness is an attribute that is spontaneous and natural within
him. Forgiveness is constant no matter how much you beat him or
insult him. He is very simple and guileless (sarad). He does not