4 Ways To Maximize Your Connection with your kids
20 and present events , and their typical behavior . You ’ ve got to dig past the surface and get to the roots !
Let ’ s say your child threw a tantrum you attributed to having a bad day after fighting with a friend . It would be easy to leave it at that , but by hearing the message within their words , feelings , and actions , we may realize that their hurt feelings are about more than their fight with their friend . If we really hear them out , we may see they ’ re struggling with a situation at home , unhappy with something at school , and so on . Their tantrum may not be a reaction to their fight with their friend . It could be related to all sorts of different things . So , hear them out . Hear , see , and feel everything .
Believe it or not , long-winded explanations , detailed sticker charts , and daily itineraries can be horribly boring and overwhelming . The simpler we can keep things , the easier it will be for them to catch on . This also gives us the opportunity to encourage our children to develop skills . If we ’ re telling our children what to do , how to think , and what they should feel , they won ’ t develop the skills to do so themselves . We should trust that they have the ability to do these thing themselves , and encourage and guide them in doing so .
As the saying goes , “ less is more .” Take the opportunity to try open-ended questions to encourage thinking , clear statements for basic instruction , prompts that provoke action , and to-the-point explanations that allow for creativity and learning . You can even open up the floor to let them devise schedules , plans , and limits so they can learn about priorities and organization firsthand . And , of course , don ’ t forget to include some creative or suggestive reminders now and then ( it ’ s a big part of the parent job ).
We ’ d squirm and sweat if our boss reprimanded us for our work . Our kids are basically in that position every time we call them out on something . Being the brunt of someone ’ s disappointment , criticism , or frustration is a serious drag . But we ’ re dragging our kids down with it every day . Agh !
If we want to connect with our little one , we need to take a hint and act more like a kid . So , instead of talking at them , we can talk with them . We can swap out being critical and taskcrazed for being encouraging , playful , and helpful . We can talk about the positive aspects of a situation as well as the negative ( or rather , the “ learning opportunities ”). We can laugh at ourselves and share stories from our adult life or childhood that parallel the situation our child is in .
Tapping back into our inner child gets us living in the now and making the most of it . What could be more important than that ? So , let ’ s be light , and happy , and turn challenges into lessons and opportunities . Look for all the ways we can make the most mundane things fun . Boring is boring ! Have fun !
If you want to learn more about how you can maximize your parenting and bring on the love , check out PBS ’ s parenting tips . They have some great guides that everything from communication to meltdowns . And they even offer age-by-age insights that are super helpful with little ones . Be on the lookout …. Your family life may just improve by 100 %.