ages + stages | gradeschool
ages + stages | gradeschool
4 Ways To Maximize Your Connection with your kids
| by Ashley Stevens
There ’ s no doubt that good schools and rockstar teachers are key to kids getting a quality education . However , the education that will really stick with kids is the one they receive at home .
According to Maurice Hedish , LCSW and creator of Specialized Family Therapy , children go through new stages of development every 5-7 years . Each stage essentially requires kids to develop inner skills which allow them to mature mentally , emotionally , and socially . So they quite literally grow out of tantrums ( Hallelujah !). But the catch is … when they don ’ t get the opportunity to build these skills , they ’ ll keep turning to their immature behavior . And they ’ ll keep doing it until they finally learn a new approach .
All things considered , the way we interact with our children plays an important role in the kind of adult they ’ ll grow up to be .
As parents , we have A LOT to do and only so much time to do it . That means multitasking and doing things quickly with whatever time and effort available . When our kiddo throws a sudden tantrum , it throws a wrench into our plans ( and faltering sanity ), but these moments are when they need our parenting the most . Unfortunately , many of us try to address such situations by listening to our kids over a 10-30 second time span while we ’ re doing a mental ( and physical ) juggle with three other things . Not cuttin ’ it . If we expect our kids to listen to us , we must first set the bar .
Get on the same level and look eye-to-eye with your child . Genuine active listening happens by letting them speak , repeating the overall message you ’ re hearing , and acknowledging that this is important to them ( even when it seems trivial to the insanity of adult life ). The real trick to listening is to genuinely care about what they ’ re saying , and to understand what they ’ re trying to express to you . Yeah , we ’ re going to have to take away our attention from everything else , but sincere listening can be done in as little as two minutes ( and the benefits will last a lifetime ).
We think of hearing and listening as one in the same , but hearing to our children speak is a small part of the listening equation . Really hearing our children requires us to take in the situation as a whole . This kind of “ hearing ” goes beyond words by taking in vocal tone , emotions , past
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