1. Lead by example
As the parent of a young player, you are already a role model – in life and sport. Your child looks to you for guidance, understanding and motivation. If you are sighted on the sideline giving your son or daughter a verbal tirade about a mistake they have made, how do you think that reflects on them, and you? To be screamed at rather than constructively spoken to about how to rectify that mistake, would have a huge mental impact on the long term engagement of that player. Lead by example, speak how you would like to be spoken to.
As a coach, it is not only your job to prepare the team for the Saturday’s fixture but to encourage fair play and enjoyment from the sidelines. At a training session, it is no different. Think of the mental implications of a player if their Coach is screaming at them in their face or behind their back – not good. That player may or may not turn up next week or even on the Saturday. On game day, you are the personification of sideline etiquette. Every parent of the players are looking at you to see how you interact with their offspring. Make sure it is professional, positive and constructive. Lead by example.
2. Positive reinforcement
It is important to provide sound reflection both on and off the field, and encouragement is key. Studies say that subjects are twice as likely to listen in on positive reinforcement as opposed to tuning out when it’s negative. In the case of game day and sideline etiquette, whether parent or coach, keep it positive.
Example: A young player has the ball in hand, is running towards the line with a teammate outside and one defender to beat, a classic two on one. The player opts to throw a dummy pass and gets tackled by the defender and the try is squandered. Here’s the difference between positive and negative reinforcement.
Negative: “You ball hog, don’t be selfish son, pass the ball to the man in space, you just cost us a try.”
Positive: “Hard luck son. I know we all want to score tries but remember what we have learned about team play and passing the ball to the man in space. Next time that happens we can score a try.”
3. Don’t be embarrassing
Please, don’t be “that guy” on the sideline. There’s nothing worse than being on the field playing and hearing your parent shouting abuse at the referee, the coach, or the other team. To criticise others from the sideline is cowardly and turning abusive is even worse. Remember, everyone’s trying their best and if that isn’t enough for you, perhaps just take a moment to realise what you are there to do – support whoever it is you are there for and their team.
Don’t let poor refereeing decisions or the Coach’s choice to substitute your son get the best of your temper and spin off into a frenzy. There’s nothing worse than having your son labelled as the one who’s parent is abusive and subsequently gets barred from sporting events.
If you’ve ever watched the popular HBO series “Entourage” you’ll remember an episode where Ari Gold is informed his son has been declined entry to a popular school. The reason behind this is the School doesn’t want to deal with another 8 years of his abusive presence at sporting games. Don’t be “that embarrassing guy” and remember to keep it positive.