was embarking upon one of the most amazing journeys of self- discovery, love for myself ,the strength of my spirit and knowing
who I am. I had prayed and cried out to God for so long to end my pain, to make the unhappiness of being me end. I wanted to be accepted, I wanted to fit in, I wanted for people to like me regardless of what it cost me and for years, so many years this was the method of my madness. Try to be loved by others, try to be accepted, try to do my best, try to look my best, try to go to church every sunday, try to fill all obligations, try to be a good wife and mother. Try to be a good friend, a good church member, try to attend all meetings, try to be an awesome designer, try to pray, try to read my bible daily, try to fast, try to worship, try to praise, try, try, try....My life was suffocating and I was dying until one morning in 2010 a still small voice, GOD, spoke and introduced Be to me.
God spoke these words to my spirit, "I never created you to TRY
I created you to BE. You, the true esence of who you are, the real you, spirit, never has to try you just simply BE.The Holy Spirit then shared this: You are always"Trying"...understand what trying means.....it means straining, hardship, distress, annoyance,upsetting, difficult,hard to endure, not easy,irritating, nerve racking, hard, taxing, tough,upsetting, exasperating,tiresome, werarisome, bothersome, troublesome, irking, vexing, irritating, aggrivating,and strangulating YET somehow you are always "trying" especially My people. When asked, How you doing? you say, I'm "trying" to stay alive. I'm "trying" to make it...you "trying"to worship, you "trying" to praise , you "trying" to be holy, "trying"to live out the scriptures, "trying" to breathe, "trying" to do purpose, "trying" to be Christ like, "trying to pray, "trying" to go to church, "trying" to read your bibles, "trying" to be free, "trying" to be delivered, "trying" to be saved...Trying, Trying, Trying! I never created you to~TRY~I created you to~BE~ so stop trying and just BE! 9