Let ' s consider how this situation could have gone differently if I had consistently reached for a deeper level of emotional engagement and willpower with oscillation . Some nights I would have come home and pushed myself to exercise instead of watch television . I would sleep more deeply and soundly because of my exercise . Some nights , I would have come home and felt like watching TV . Instead of giving in , I would push myself to call a friend and strengthen a relationship with a friend or family member instead of watching TV . Because of the increased social support , my mind would be less taxed with worries . Because of my efforts to push myself physically on some nights , my relaxation on other nights would become more effective ( more deeply relaxing and recuperative ).
My relaxation phase of the oscillation cycle would be deeper and more effective because I experienced it as a deeper contrast to the days when I was pushing myself to new limits beyond my comfort zone .
At first , this effect will be small . But it builds momentum with time as your capacity to truly and deeply relax becomes more satisfying relative to the degree of stress that you are exposing yourself to in other situations . Your ability to find deep reserves of energy for the stress portion of the oscillation increases .
Unleashing Oscillation to Claim Your Man
Now let ' s talk about how you are going to apply this idea to the world of dating . As you know , the odds are against you . Finding a guy you really like is hard enough . Finding a guy who really likes you back is even more difficult . But it is worth it and it will happen with the proper methods . Don ' t settle for someone that treats you fairly well . Don ' t settle for someone you sort of like . With over three and a half billion men in the world , a person that is just right for you is definitely out there .
There are several variables we want to manipulate in your favor . Here they are .
1 . The frequency of opportunities to meet new men 2 . The number of men you interact with on a surface level 3 . The number of men who see you and are impressed with you 4 . The number of men who know you are available and looking 5 . The number of recurring interactions with men that share one or more interests in common with you . 6 . The confidence you feel about yourself when actively learning about men who pass the first level of interest . 7 . The value you place on your time .
Okay , let ' s go through each of these quickly and zero-in on the most critical reasons and action steps for each one . And remember , these are just my ideas to get you started . You know yourself and your situation best . You will come up with even better ideas for applying the principle of oscillation to your own particular circumstances . These examples just happen to apply to a lot of the women I have consulted with .
1 . The frequency of opportunities to meet new men
This one is kind of obvious . But in practice , this basic premise for success with meeting men is often a sticking point that causes women to fail before they ' ve even gotten started . It ' s inconvenient to go out frequently . It can wear you down emotionally . It requires a higher level of energy to interact with people when you ' re trying to impress them .
This is where oscillation comes in . Start out by stretching your frequency of pursuing opportunities to meet new men . Start small . Just do a little more than you have been in recent weeks . Remember to oscillate . Really push yourself for short periods of time , then completely take the pressure off yourself and relax for a few days or weekends . You ' ll be amazed at how quickly you accommodate to the stress of seeking out and also attending social events of various kinds .
Many women are surprised to find that finding out about social opportunities and expressing interest in them is the most awkward and difficult part . In other words , getting invited is often the trickiest part . I want you to train yourself to get
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