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haven’t even begun your first coping technique. Then it intensifies. You start to
feel intense fear in your stomach, as your left arm vibrates with pins and
needles. You are approaching the climax of high anxiety. You examine all your
options—shout out, escape, or invite more. So that’s what you do—you ask for
more. In fact, you demand with firmness that the panic increases so you
experience the full range of the emotion. A few seconds pass. It hasn’t
intensified so you ask for it again—and once again, nothing. In fact, things are
starting to calm down. Your heart isn’t racing like before, and your chest feels
somewhat lighter. It’s coming to an end. Now, you can really feel confident! Not
only did you get through a panic attack, but you also ran with it, and
experienced it all the way. You stood your ground not in an overly aggressive
manner but as an explorer, looking to feel the full range of your experiences.
There is no lingering fear of a returning panic attack on your train journey,
because you are confident that should one come, you will ride it out like the last.
You close your eyes, and relax confidently into your seat.
What you are doing is befriending fear in a nonconfrontational manner.
You are inviting it into your life, making it yours. Owning it.
This is a complete U-turn on what has been previously taught. We are normally
told to cope using coping techniques, and after a significant period of time, you
grow out of your anxiety. Bypass that disempowering approach. Go for the finish
line. Try the complete reverse—befriend your fear, and then watch over a short
period of time as your anxiety loosens its grip.
This is by no means a new technique. We can see from the past how this was
applied to many different areas of living a successful life.
The ancient Chinese martial arts such as aikido use this approach to self-
defense. When faced with an attacker, initiates of these defense schools were
taught that the greatest defense was never to engage in the first place. Simply
observe and walk away. Should an attack ensue after the path of non-resistance
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