18 Generation Gap consequences of their mistakes will be . ( P . 87 )
Generally when one parent rebukes the child , the other parent will stand up for him , so any hope of improving the child is ruined . The child will develop a fondness for the parent that takes his side and he will feel antagonism towards the parent who seeks to discipline . And when that child grows up , he will retaliate against that parent . ( P . 88 )
In order to guide your older children , you must follow my Agnas ( 5 cardinal instructions given by the Gnani after the Gnan Vidhi ). Unless children ask for your advice , do not say anything to them . You should tell them that it would be better if they did not ask you . If you start thinking negatively about them , you must immediately do pratikraman ( apology coupled with remorse for any wrongdoing )
In this age , the power to improve others is lost so do not expect to improve anyone . Give up any hope of improving others . Unless there is unity within your mind , your speech , and your actions , your efforts will be futile . This means that you should speak whatever is on your mind and act accordingly . But this is not possible in this day and age . Interact reasonably with everyone in the family .
People do grave harm to themselves as well as to others in their efforts to improve them . First you must improve yourself , only then can you improve others . ( P . 93 )
You should constantly maintain the intent that you want your child ’ s understanding to improve . In doing so , you will notice a change after some time . Your child will eventually come to understand . You just have to keep praying for him . But if you keep nagging him , he will go against you . You have to adjust and accept things as they are . ( P . 96 )