18 Generation Gap consequences of their mistakes will be.( P. 87)
Generally when one parent rebukes the child, the other parent will stand up for him, so any hope of improving the child is ruined. The child will develop a fondness for the parent that takes his side and he will feel antagonism towards the parent who seeks to discipline. And when that child grows up, he will retaliate against that parent.( P. 88)
In order to guide your older children, you must follow my Agnas( 5 cardinal instructions given by the Gnani after the Gnan Vidhi). Unless children ask for your advice, do not say anything to them. You should tell them that it would be better if they did not ask you. If you start thinking negatively about them, you must immediately do pratikraman( apology coupled with remorse for any wrongdoing)
In this age, the power to improve others is lost so do not expect to improve anyone. Give up any hope of improving others. Unless there is unity within your mind, your speech, and your actions, your efforts will be futile. This means that you should speak whatever is on your mind and act accordingly. But this is not possible in this day and age. Interact reasonably with everyone in the family.
People do grave harm to themselves as well as to others in their efforts to improve them. First you must improve yourself, only then can you improve others.( P. 93)
You should constantly maintain the intent that you want your child’ s understanding to improve. In doing so, you will notice a change after some time. Your child will eventually come to understand. You just have to keep praying for him. But if you keep nagging him, he will go against you. You have to adjust and accept things as they are.( P. 96)