Geek Syndicate
“Guns. Lots of guns!”
Those were Neo’s immortal words in The Matrix. So for this issue of the GS magazine, I set myself the challenge of assembling what I thought was the best collection of handheld weapons featured in the genre – it
wasn’t easy, as the list is extensive, and sometimes there was very little differentiation (a laser gun is a laser
gun), but here it is – the Geek Syndicate Ultimate Armoury. I tried to feature close combat weapons too and
stay away from anything that exists in the real world (so no Walther PPK. Sorry, Mr. Bond.). There’s no particular ranking here – I just tried to select the best in class; but if we missed out your favourite, just send me
a note… don’t shoot the messenger!
The “Quite Simply The Weirdest One On The List” Award:
The Bone & Gristle Gun – eXistenZ
If we are handing out awards for the weirdest weapon, then James
Woods’ fleshy pistol in Videodrome would still lose out to this funky
little weapon that Jude Law constructs out of discarded Chinese
food. Totally surreal in its assembly, and totally alien in appearance, yet it somehow managed to not look completely ridiculous.
An honourable mention must go to the Proton Pack from Ghostbusters, as I just didn’t know where to put that either!
The “Outstanding Contribution to Rifling” Award: M41-A
Pulse Rifle – Aliens
The M41-A is quite simply one of the most influential handheld
weapons invented for the screen. Nearly thirty years on this iconic
rifle, with its digital bullet counter and under-the-barrel grenade
launcher is still the ancestor of any weapon seen in futuristic firstperson shoot ‘em up videogames, or in real-life laser-tag games.
The weapon itself was constructed by combining parts from a
Thompson M1A1 machine gun, a SPAS 12 shotgun, and a Remington 870 shotgun and if you’ve seen the extended version of Aliens,
the rifle gave us one of the most intimate scenes in the whole film.
Hicks teaches Ripley how to use the M41-A, and we discover that
their first names are Ellen and Dwayne.
Honourable mentions must go to The Terminator’s phased plasma
rifle (in the 40 watt range – “just what you see on the shelf, pal”)
and Wikus van der Merwe’s Tesla rifle in District 9.
The “Looks Aren’t Everything” Award: The Noisy Cricket
- Men in Black
Looking like something that would come out of a Crackerjack box
or high-end Christmas Cracker, the Noisy Cricket wouldn’t necessarily be your first choice of weapon. The mini-pistol looks like it
would be more at home in a handbag than a macho action hero’s
hand. Appearances can be deceptive though. Will Smith’s Agent
J found out this fun sized weapon packs a serious punch… and an
even worse recoil!
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