First Days & Separation
Separation is something we deal with throughout life, from relatively minor losses, like friends moving away, to the ultimate separation- death.
How we handle separations is developed very early in life, literally from our peek-a-boo days when we first deal with the disappearance and reappearance of someone we love.
First Days & Separation
How we help children handle separation then is of the first importance and is truly life shaping.
When your child first starts at the centre it can be a pretty daunting task- new adults, new children and a new environment not to mention a strange routine. We therefore encourage parents to stay with your child for a short time until they are settled and familiar with the staff and centre.
It is important to be honest – tell your child you are going to work and you will be back at a certain time. While concept of time is an unknown to children, gradually they will recognise the regular pattern of your return.
It is important to do some groundwork – bring your child in for a visit or two, get to know the staff, bring in a special comforter for your child, even a photo of the family is helpful. It can be helpful to build some structure into your return –“ When I get back, I want you to have your things packed in your bag.” Try to avoid the bribes – special treats etc, this can lay down a pattern which is hard to break later in life.
It is important to realise that being placed in a new environment with new people is unsettling – just think how you feel when you walk into a room and you see no familiar faces. It can take a few weeks to get to know people and the routine – especially if your child is only attending for 1 or 2 days, or is in a number of different care environments over the week.
Try not to leave without warning, always say goodbye, even if your child is upset.
Please feel free to ring during the day to see how they are going. You will no doubt feel distressed when you leave your child, this is normal, and we recognise how you may be feeling.
It can be hard to leave your child with strangers, rush off to work and cope with the pressures of our modern world. Separating from your child is a development step for you too- it is part of life. You will grow from this experience – greater freedom, increased comfort from past and future separations, a new closeness to your child, and an enhanced love and respect for each other.
The initial adjustment of your child to our service is most important to us, and if we all work together we can make the period as less stressful as possible.
It is important for you to know that all children do settle – some take just a day, some can take several weeks. For those that take a little longer it can be very distressing for the parent. Our staff are well trained in separation issues, so please discuss any concerns you have with them.
Key Points
• Give your child and yourself time to get adjusted and settled- it can take up to six weeks.
• Younger Children who attend only
one or two days a week may take longer to settle.
• Be honest
• Discuss any problems in settling your child into the Centre with the educator team in your child’ s room.
• Its best to keep each other fully informed for the best interests of your child.
• Do ring and find out how your child’ s day is going, just to be reassured. We will be honest and tell you if it isn’ t going well.
• Orientation visits can make a difference and once your child is enrolled, we will organise visits to meet the staff and other children and get to know the environment.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Handbook for Parents Griffith Child Care Centre Inc 11