MacGregor’s Syndrome Stage 3.
time I say Bane in reference to this
Easily the stupidest villain ever. Why
“movie”. He just goes BAM! BAM! And
doesn’t he just sell off those huge
repeats every last word Ivy says. In the
diamonds he steals, which considering
comics, Bane is nothing like that. He
the size and the description of the
challenged Batman on a physical as well
diamonds, can be easily worth billions?
as spiritual level.
So much complications. And for some
Robin is a dick throughout the movie.
weird reason, every time he flips a switch His incessant whining really got under
he makes sexual noises. You could even my skin. In the museum robbery scene,
say, he is “turned on by switches.”(Get
I swear, I’m not making it up, he bursts
it? Turned on by… ah fuck it.) If you think through a door on a bike and you can see
that pun was bad then prepare to be
that the hole through which he busted in,
destroyed.
is in the shape of the Robin logo.
I have a fun game for you.
Then there is this really cheesy subplot
Every time Mr. Freeze makes an ice
of Batman and Robin fighting over Poison
related pun, take a shot of vodka. You
Ivy because she’s…. pretty, I guess? Yay,
will be drunk by the end of the movie. I
Mother Nature!
had kept a counter for those puns, which Oh yes, even Batgirl is in this movie.
amounted to a whopping number of 37.
Barbara Wilson is Alfred’s Niece who has
Those are seriously cringe worthy and
returned Alfred to “free” him. She’s a biker
sitting through 37 of those is by no means at night and a really horrible actress by
funny.
day. Alicia Silverstone’s accent
Oh, and did I mention Alfred is dying? Of constantly appears and disappears. This
course he is. And guess what Alfred is
was the movie that pretty much killed her
dying of? You guessed it (No points for
career. After this laughably bad scene
you). McGregor’s Fucking Syndrome.
where the identity of Batman and
Only difference being, it is in Stage 1,
Robin are revealed to her, she takes
which Mr Freeze already has a cure for.
on the Mantle of Batgirl. Cut to another
They could have easily dropped this
scene of butt shots and crotch shots. The
subplot.
only thing missing here are the Bat
Coming to the museum, we have a
nipples, which is kinda odd considering
Batman who clearly enjoys Figure
it’s the only character with whom bat
Skating in his free time. His introduction is nipples make sense.
also “Hi Freeze, I’m Batman.” I’m sorry, I The CGI is also laughably bad. The whole
just cannot take this Batman seriously. A movie feels like a toy commercial. And it
shame, considering George Clooney, one really was. After looking it up on the
of my favourite actors, would have made internet, I found out that this whole
a great Batman.
movie was made in order to sell toys.
It’s a shame since George Clooney is not That is why there were different costumes
the only actor wasted. Uma Thurman,
during different fights.
who plays Dr. PamelaIsley/Poison Ivy is
atrocious, considering she just got an I laughed, Hard. Throughout this
Academy Award Nomination just a year movie. After a while, the line was
before this film.
blurred. I wasn’t sure if I was
But my biggest issue, and by biggest
laughing at the movie or myself. As
issue, I mean
UN-FUCKING-FORGIVABLE MISTAKE the Joker said, “All you need, is a
they made is with BANE. I cringe every little push!” I guess this movie did it.