Funeral Service Times August 2017 April 2019 | Page 18

18 ADVERTORIAL
childhood could be comforting, and worry dolls
and dream-catchers can help to ease night-time
worries. If you would like to talk to someone
for advice, you can call the Winston’s Wish
Freephone National Helpline on 08088 020 021.
HOW LONG WILL CHILDREN AND
YOUNG PEOPLE BE AFFECTED?
Tragic events in the news, especially when there
are tributes to the person or people who have
been killed and thoughts about their family, will
affect everyone. They are particularly painful
and poignant for those who have experienced
a bereavement who both identify with those
who have just been bereaved and are also
taken back, emotionally, to the raw feelings
of their own bereavement. For such families,
it may feel that your own previous experience
of bereavement has only just happened. It will
help to talk to each other about how you are
feeling. Don’t feel you have to bottle up your
feelings to protect the children – it’ll help them
to know that you are finding it hard too. You
may find it helpful to talk things through with a
friend or one of the organisations listed at the
end of these questions and answers.
The answer for individual children is also a
very individual one and will depend on other
losses and bereavements the child may have
experienced. Non-bereaved children may
only be interested and not affected. Children
shouldn’t be made to feel that they ‘have’ to
feel upset about events and people they do not
know.
IN SCHOOL, WHAT DO WE DO IF
THE PUPILS ARE ROLE-PLAYING
MURDER OR DEATH SCENES?
Children communicate a lot through their
behaviour and play, particularly when things
are confusing, distressing, out of the ordinary
and they lack the language to describe what
they have seen, heard and how they are feeling.
This is a normal and healthy reaction. Rather
than ignore or sanction the behaviour, you can
APRIL 2019
use this as an opportunity to talk openly about
death and dying. This can be done by drawing,
writing poetry, circle time discussions, or other
creative activities. It can be an opportunity to
acknowledge other bereavements and losses in
the school community and provide a vehicle for
bereaved pupils to feel supported by their peers
and teachers. It is estimated that in Britain there
is, roughly one child per classroom bereaved
of a parent or sibling, and that approximately
110 children are bereaved of a parent in the
UK every day. Individual conversations with
children who have been bereaved, during
times of high profile coverage of deaths, can
be helpful. Give them choices about what level
of support and acknowledgement of their
experiences would feel right for them.
Winston’s Wish produces many resources
to help schools and teachers, including school
bereavement strategies, a schools’ information
pack, and lesson plans about death and
dying. These are all downloadable from the
‘support-for-schools’ section of the Winston’s
Wish website www.winstonswish.org. We
also offer training for schools - information
about our child bereavement training days for
professionals can also be found on our website.
THINGS TO REMEMBER
z z Talk to children using words they
understand; give information to
younger children a bit at a time
z z Try and encourage children to ask
questions
z z Answer questions honestly and simply;
talking about it won’t make it worse
z z Accept that some things can’t be ‘made
better’
z z Show willingness to talk about difficult
things and use this as an opportunity to
reassure them
z z If children are asking questions, it is a
good thing – it shows they trust you
and it is better than keeping questions
and worries to themselves
z z Remember that ‘super parents’ or ‘super
teachers’ don’t exist. Just do and say
what you can
z z Don’t be afraid to show children how
you are feeling
WINSTON’S WISH
There may be instances where you feel that you need to seek extra support.
Winston’s Wish has a Freephone National Helpline (08088 020 021) available to
call between 9am and 5pm Monday – Friday, as well as an email support service
available through our website (www.winstonswish.org) and a new online chat
facility for instant messaging. We also produce a wide range of publications to
support children of different ages and with different types of death, which are
available from the website.
Winston’s Wish provides guidance, support and information for bereaved children
and for anyone caring for a bereaved child or young person, as well as specialist
therapeutic support to those children and young people who have been bereaved
through murder or manslaughter, suicide or military families who have experienced
a death.
www.funeralservicetimes.co.uk