Last Friday night, the BMI football semi-finals took place down in Fox Run in Dover, Pennsylvania. For this special occasion, the teams split up individually and described the rules as, “every man, or insect, for himself”. No one understands why this happened or how the score would be counted, but no one really cared due to the fact that the crowd was still bewildered by the sight of BMI playing football.
The game began quickly as AJ the Water Penny clung onto the ball, causing the other BMI to try and peel him off to start the game once more. After about five minutes of disconnecting AJ’s dense fringe of fine hairs that increased grip on the ball, he was flung off into the water, never to be seen again. Rest in peace, AJ the Water Penny.
Completely ignoring the moment of silence for their fallen-more like flung off-friend, Maya the Crayfish heaved the football onto her back and took off down stream towards the end zone. She was so close to making a touch down right before Dwight the Water Boatman swam upright towards her, almost causing her to drop the ball. Luckily, Maya used her two large, compound eyes to scare off the competitor. The touchdown was made and the extra point was good. While Maya was doing her victory dance, she was disqualified for twerking on the field. She tried to harm the refs pulling her to the bank of the stream, but, alas, her claws did no harm.
With no points still on the score board, Justin the Mayfly decided to try and change that. He placed the ball in front of him, turned around, and used his three tails to make a field goal. Justin’s celebration came to a close too soon when he died in the stream and was carried away by the current.
After already loosing two players in the game, the refs called the game to stop and declared that no one really won. Sweeny Todd the Blood Midge refused for this to be the final sentence, so he wrapped his small, slender, slightly curved body around the football and swam downstream. He made the touchdown and stormed off of the field into the crowd, killing dozens. The finals will take place two weeks from yesterday in Rochester, New York.