Exclusive
Interview with Diana Naiad
Hey all you cool teens and crazy tweens! This is Travis Trout with the exclusive interview of Diana Naiad, the latest mayfly nymph starlet! Don’t be shocked, kiddos! You know me; I ask all the deepest, darkest questions. Here’s how the interview went:
DN- You are so easy to talk to! I think I spilled all of my secrets.
TT- Are there any boyfriends in the picture?
DN- Silly! Boys are cute and all, but us mayflies don’t get sex organs until we’re adults. I try to date around, not get too serious too soon.
TT- Are you close to your family?
DN- Oh, my family is so big, I get lost in it! I’ll give you some pages from my family album if you’d like to print them. You can see my parents diving into the water, see my little egg cousins. Even my brothers and sisters!
TT- That would be great for the story, Diana. Thank you! You’re so kind.
DN- I know.
TT- So Diana, first give us your basics. You know, turn ons, turn offs, taxonomy, etc.
DN- Well Travis, there’s so many things I love to do! My favorite is shedding my skin. I bet I’ve done it twenty times so far! When I emerge, I feel so soft and beautiful! Some kids call it “molting”, but that word just sounds gross. Let’s see, I love to hang out on rocks and take long mud baths in my stream. Some of my friends that are mayflies are swimmers, clingers, or crawlers, but I’m a burrower. My favorite foods are algae and diatoms. Oh, they are so to die for! I usually scrape or graze my algae, or collect and gather my diatoms. Or was it the other way around? Oh well, either or.
TT- Oh, I would love to have you for dinner!
DN- You are such a flirt! Anyhow, my major turn-offs is pollution-yuck! I’m in Pollution Taxa Group 1, so my water has to be super high quality. Even Perrier is beneath my taste.
TT- So, tell me the best dirt, Diana. Who are you fighting with this social situation?
DN- Well, without mentioning any names, (like Kermit or Freddie) I’ve been having loads of hate from fish and amphibians! They’re worse than the paparazzi, I swear! No offense to you, Travis.
TT- Oh, none taken! Believe me!
DN-
TT-
ABOVE: Naiad's life cycle, or metamorphosis
3