Food & Spirits Magazine #15 | Page 34

You notice a boisterous group wander up to the bar. Are they really waving dollar bills at the bartenders? Snapping? Yelling? Knowing how profoundly rude this is you wince in apology for the group you don’t know. The righteously irked bartender gets to them after serving the people that were in line before them. Smiling, she asks the group to see their ID’s. Without batting an eye they all hand over their shiny, new horizontal plastic pictures. You hear the Boniface exclaim “Happy Birthday!” To which one of the youngsters quickly asks “Do you have, like, birthday shots?” Shaking her head no with a raised eyebrow, she asks what they’d like. The order starts with six Vegas Bombs – no, wait – make it three Vegas Bombs, three shots of whiskey and four whiskey sours. The nimble bartender whips up the order, dodging co-workers in an intricate dance of body dodges and twirls. Placing the ten glasses in front of the group, she asks “all together?” The group looks at each other dumbfounded and questioning until they finally figure out who’s paying. “I’m going to pay for two of the V-Bombs, and one of the whiskey sours. He’s going to pay for the whiskeys, and she’s going to pay for the rest.” A fistful of cash and a debit card is given to the, at this point, very patient bartenderess. She rings everyone up, and gives the receipt and change back to the customers with a smile, obviously trying to hide her annoyance. “The minimum wage for serving in Nebraska is $2.13. So yes, we do depend on tips to survive.” The group takes their shots, picks up their drinks and walks away, leaving nothing for her hard work. At this point you’ve savored your gin and tonic to nothingness, and it’s your turn again. The flaming orange peel from earlier has quipped your interest, so you ask the bartender about it. She explains that it uses a house infused coffee tequila, and some other things you’ve never heard of. You like tequila, so you decide to try it. As she’s pouring all the ingredients into a glass, she’s telling a few 34 of the others waiting that she’ll be with them in a second. Shaking your drink she laughs at a joke she over heard about a duck smoking quack… get it?!? She strains the shaken concoction into a glass in front of you, taking a lighter to a thinly sliced orange peel and sending sparks of orange zest into your drink, you get excited about tasting this treat. Asking for your name again, you tell her so she can add the drink to your tab. Bringing the glass to your lips, you continue the merriment with your friends. “Bartenders don’t set prices... if you have a complaint, talk to a manager.” This story is an excellent of what NOT to do when you go into a bar and it’s as busy as all get-out. Play it straight and your chances of getting excellent service and being a ‘smart’ customer go way up. Impress your friends, your date, and your bartender. Here are some tips; Things your Bartender wants you to know: •? When in doubt, have your ID ready when you get to the door/bar •? Know what you’re going to order when you get to the bar. This will make things a lot quicker for everybody. •? Have your payment (Cash, Credit, etc.) ready when your drinks are served. •? If you have questions about a product, please ask! We like to be informative, we like to share our knowledge, and we like to talk about alcohol! •? If it’s busy, it’s going to take a little while to get a drink. We’re working as quickly as we can. We’re not Sonic the Hedgehog. We are only human, and as discussed, we don’t have eight arms, sadly. •? The minimum wage for serving in Nebraska is $2.13. So yes, we do depend on tips to survive. Take that into consideration when you pay, please! I don’t want to live in a cardboard box